Seven months ago, at the winter retreat in January (Blast), I made a covenant with God. I promised to do whatever He wants me to do, say whatever He wants me to day, and go wherever He wants me to go. The biggest reason I ended up making that covenant was that, even then, I was worrying about the fact that God might call me to a different part of the world, and I was afraid that I would be too scared to answer that call. Thus, the covenant really gave me some accountability while also opening me up to whatever God had in store for me.
A year ago, I had toyed with the idea of one day going to Costa Rica for a vacation so that I could walk through the rainforests and go white-water rafting and things like that. Not long after Blast, Brooke (tech programmer in our Promiseland children's ministry) started talking to me about how she had gone on a mission trip to Costa Rica and all the things she did there and how it changed her. I eventually felt God tugging on my heart, saying that I should go. I didn't know why He wanted me to go, but the feeling didn't go away, so I started doing some research, and eventually I found out that one of our other church campuses was going to be getting a group of high school kids together to go to Costa Rica for the summer. I started a chain of correspondence with one of the leaders, which led to an interview, which led to a couple of meetings, while led to me sitting on a plane shaking my head at how crazy this situation was. I was following what I think was God's voice, and it led me to flying on an airplane (which I am not exactly comfortable with), to a place that none of us on the team have been to before.
Thing is, I now know for sure that it was God's voice. There is no other way that everything could have happened the way it did. It was no accident that I went with eight other people to Cartago, befriended several of the Ticos, and now am longing to return there. God used me in a huge way while I was there, and I am so glad that I answered His call!
Of course, now that He has worked a great deal in my heart over the duration of the trip, I am still, even two weeks later, suffering from culture shock. In addition, I can no longer see more than a few centimeters in front of my own two feet on this path I am on. I thought my future was pretty much set: Go to Northwestern, go to medical school somewhere, do my internship/residency, get a job, try to have a family. Now, all of that is fading and blurring. I don't know if that's what God wants for me anymore. He's shown me something so different throughout the duration of the trip. He's shown me that my future is not limited. I could do so many different things! In a way, that's not comforting at all; what am I supposed to do about a major in college? Then again, in a way it is comforting, because it means that I have this freedom to pursue anything I want to and anything that God calls me to, because no matter what, He will make sure that if it is His will, it will happen.
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