So, let's see how quickly I can type all of this up in just under 15 minutes. Part of me thinks I won't do as nearly as good of a job as I want to. Then again, there's really no way to completely explain what happened to me last night, so I'll just go for it!
Last night, after dress rehersal for the Promiseland Christmas production over at church, I went to one of the rooms next door to join in Amped, which is pretty much an all-worship experience for middle schoolers, high schoolers, and young adults, and I guess pretty much anyone else who wanted to show up. Though I entered late, I knew I had made the right decision (rather than staying behind after rehersal to do miscellaneous stuff) because my heart leaped as soon as I entered the room and I couldn't help but raise my hands in joy as the music flooded the air around me while I walked in. I slipped my shoes off and walked over to the opposite side of the room, almost in the corner, so that I had plenty of room and was not standing next to anyone in any of the rows of chairs. I just completely let go and praised and worshipped the God who loves me any everyone else, dancing and singing with all my heart.
And then, sometime during one of the songs (I can't believe I cannot remember which one right now), I got this vision and I completely broke down and started crying as the picture played in my head. It was Jesus stopping in front of me and saying, "This is for you," as he was led away beaten and bleeding to the cross. Flash forward. He was taken down from the cross, and instead of being placed in Mary's arms, he was placed in my arms: my beautiful, broken Savior. The weight of him in my arms knocked the breath out of me and caused me to sob uncontrollably where I was now sitting on the floor of the room. Flash forward again. I was kneeling in Heaven at the feet of Jesus and he was saying, "I love you. This is where you belong, here with me in Heaven, beautiful love." And he gave me a hug just before dissolving away and I was left with tears of awe and sadness and wonder and love streaming down my face.
Then, my friend Katie helped me gather the courage to talk to three of the most wonderful, influential women in my life about my story and how God wants me to share my story somehow with young women. In our discussion in her office, Tara brought up how she thought it would be a good idea to think about speaking for Girlie Night, which is held at our church for middle and high school girls. Then Lisa, Kelly, and Tara prayed over Katie and me; I am so thankful for them and now I am so excited at the prospect of writing everything out and finally presenting it in a couple months!
And later that night, God suddenly struck me with what He wanted me to do for the 30-day challenge in Impact (which I am so thankful for because during small group, when we were supposed to be discussing this, I couldn't come up with anything, and instead preferred to talk about Veronica's giant black stretchy body bag thing that I was running around in earlier). He told me to take what we were talking about in Promiseland (compassion), mix it with what KLOVE is doing (writing letters, "the things you would say" if given the chance), and make it a 30-day challenge (Impact challenge). So now I'm writing one letter to a different person each day for thirty days about how much I love that person and how much he/she means to me in order to spread love and compassion and be more of an embodiement of God's love!
I just couldn't believe how much God worked in those couple of hours last night. It was so amazing and all of this has brought me so much closer to Him and I feel a sense of renewal and am so excited to begin all that He wants me to do!
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