Resolutions

I admit that I have never actually sat down and written a list of New Years resolutions. I might think about them or talk about them with someone, but I have never written them down before. Perhaps it's because I'm afraid of breaking them, which always seems to happen anyways. Maybe it's because I'm just too lazy. I mean, January 1 is just another day, right? What's so special about it?

Last Sunday at church the service really made me start to think about resolutions. Traditionally, January 1 is a day where we can dedicate ourselves to starting fresh. We can do that pretty much every day anyways, but New Years resolutions seem a bit more final, a bit of a bigger commitment. My biggest problem is the fact that I've never written mine down. See, if we do not actually write out what our goals are, who can we trust to keep us accountable besides ourselves and God? Not that we cannot trust God to keep us accountable. He's really good at that. The problem lies in when God whispers to us "Hey, I thought you were going to cut down on eating sweets" and we choose to ignore Him, which unfortunately happens a lot.

So, I am posting my resolutions up here for all to see, should anyone care to pass by and read them. That way, not only will I know that there are other people out there who know what I am trying to accomplish, but I also will be able to look at them myself when I go to blog. I think I'll even print out the page so I can stick them in my room somewhere to remind myself.

1. I resolve to improve my relationship with God even more than in this past year by dedicating more of my time to prayer and conversation with Him.
2. I resolve to improve my relationship with God even more than in this past year by reading at least eight chapters in the Bible each week. SOAP has helped me with this, and sometimes I have even done 14 chapters in a week, but I have been slacking off horribly lately and not reading at all. Therefore, I dedicate myself to reading His word!
3. I resolve to be the temple God wants me to be by improving my diet after the new year and to prevent myself from gaining the freshman 15 when I enter college by exercising and eating healthier.
4. I resolve to shine as a light of God by improving my relationships with my family before entering college, a task that God set upon me a couple of days ago when He asked me to write letters to them as part of my 30 day challenge at Impact.
5. I resolve to shine as a light of God by going out of my way to do something nice for someone as often as possible (i.e. holding open doors, picking up something that someone dropped, etc.).
6. I resolve to bend to God's will and complete the story that He asked me to write for Him this year that I never actually completed.

If I come up with more, I will definitely list them. Now that I look at this list, I realize that all of these resolutions are possible. I didn't think so at first as I was writing them, but nothing is impossible with God.

Happy New Year! See you in 2010!

Royalty

The first time it snowed this year, I stood outside at home after school and danced around in the flakes as they gently fell, not caring that I was without a jacket or that my hair would soon be drenched or that I may have looked a little strange if someone driving past my house had caught a glace of me. I had been hoping for snow for the longest time, and here it was, and I felt just like a snow princess or snow fairy or an angel or something, spinning around in circles with flakes dotting my hair as I tried to catch the larger ones on my tongue.

I love winter, even though it can be cold and even though cleaning off my car can be a pain. Maybe it's because I was born in a winter month (February), or maybe it's because I'm a figure skater, or maybe it's simply because that's how God created me. Actually, looking on it now, I know God made me to be this way: to be His little snow princess. I remember as I stood outside that day and looked up to the sky, raising my snow-covered lashes, I smiled and laughed giddily at the idea that Daddy God loves to see me pink-cheeked and bright-eyed from playing around in the snow.

This leads me to believe that we girls are princess of all sorts in God's eyes. If I'm a winter princess, then maybe you, reader, are a summer princess who loves to splash around in water and bask in the sun's warmth all day and frolic outside in the midst of the summer heat. Or maybe you're a spring princess who's crazy in love with brilliant blooms of flowers and the gentle spring breezes and the knowledge that winter's icy chill is finally melting away and the sounds of baby animals chattering to each other. Or maybe you're an autumn princess who adores the glorious color-changes of the leaves on trees, who loves skipping through piles of leaves and enjoying the not-too-hot yet not-too-cold fall air, whose breath catches at the sight of autumn's finest sunsets.

And we are more than seasonal princesses! We can be princesses of nighttime, who love the sight of a clear night full of stars and a bright full moon. Or princesses of animals, or princesses of plant life, or princesses of butterflies and fireflies. I could be a princess year-round, and so can you! (Or, I suppose, if you are male and you are reading this and you actually didn't stop reading this upon seeing the word "princess" in one of the earlier paragraphs, then I shall include you here too: You could be a prince of these things, and you can be one year-round!)

And guess what. We, as God's children, are to inherit His kingdom. Does that not make us princesses and princes automatically? He has adopted us freely out of love; in His eyes, we were made to rule! We really are princesses and princes! We are royalty!

One final, somewhat unrelated note: One day soon, this blog is going to have a baby! (Sorry, that just popped into my head and it made me laugh so I typed it there.) I don't know exactly when as of right now; perhaps I will create it this weekend or next week. It's going to be called His Unfailing Love, and in it I'm going to blog specifically to girls about some awesome stuff. Thanks Tara & Kelly & Lisa for talking to me about doing something like this!

Bombardment by God

So, let's see how quickly I can type all of this up in just under 15 minutes. Part of me thinks I won't do as nearly as good of a job as I want to. Then again, there's really no way to completely explain what happened to me last night, so I'll just go for it!

Last night, after dress rehersal for the Promiseland Christmas production over at church, I went to one of the rooms next door to join in Amped, which is pretty much an all-worship experience for middle schoolers, high schoolers, and young adults, and I guess pretty much anyone else who wanted to show up. Though I entered late, I knew I had made the right decision (rather than staying behind after rehersal to do miscellaneous stuff) because my heart leaped as soon as I entered the room and I couldn't help but raise my hands in joy as the music flooded the air around me while I walked in. I slipped my shoes off and walked over to the opposite side of the room, almost in the corner, so that I had plenty of room and was not standing next to anyone in any of the rows of chairs. I just completely let go and praised and worshipped the God who loves me any everyone else, dancing and singing with all my heart.

And then, sometime during one of the songs (I can't believe I cannot remember which one right now), I got this vision and I completely broke down and started crying as the picture played in my head. It was Jesus stopping in front of me and saying, "This is for you," as he was led away beaten and bleeding to the cross. Flash forward. He was taken down from the cross, and instead of being placed in Mary's arms, he was placed in my arms: my beautiful, broken Savior. The weight of him in my arms knocked the breath out of me and caused me to sob uncontrollably where I was now sitting on the floor of the room. Flash forward again. I was kneeling in Heaven at the feet of Jesus and he was saying, "I love you. This is where you belong, here with me in Heaven, beautiful love." And he gave me a hug just before dissolving away and I was left with tears of awe and sadness and wonder and love streaming down my face.

Then, my friend Katie helped me gather the courage to talk to three of the most wonderful, influential women in my life about my story and how God wants me to share my story somehow with young women. In our discussion in her office, Tara brought up how she thought it would be a good idea to think about speaking for Girlie Night, which is held at our church for middle and high school girls. Then Lisa, Kelly, and Tara prayed over Katie and me; I am so thankful for them and now I am so excited at the prospect of writing everything out and finally presenting it in a couple months!

And later that night, God suddenly struck me with what He wanted me to do for the 30-day challenge in Impact (which I am so thankful for because during small group, when we were supposed to be discussing this, I couldn't come up with anything, and instead preferred to talk about Veronica's giant black stretchy body bag thing that I was running around in earlier). He told me to take what we were talking about in Promiseland (compassion), mix it with what KLOVE is doing (writing letters, "the things you would say" if given the chance), and make it a 30-day challenge (Impact challenge). So now I'm writing one letter to a different person each day for thirty days about how much I love that person and how much he/she means to me in order to spread love and compassion and be more of an embodiement of God's love!

I just couldn't believe how much God worked in those couple of hours last night. It was so amazing and all of this has brought me so much closer to Him and I feel a sense of renewal and am so excited to begin all that He wants me to do!