Within the past month, roughly, I think God decided it would be funny to turn my life upside down: I ended up transferring colleges due to financial issues, ending a relationship due to my attempts to follow the path that I believe I can best serve Him through, forming new relationships and witnessing some very tense moments while serving over in Costa Rica, and beginning to form new relationships with people very different from people I would normally spend time with at my previous school. I vaguely felt at the time, of course, that it had to be done; I could just barely see the path in front of me (I know He makes it so, in order that we have to lean on Him and not our own understanding [see Proverbs 3:5]) and I knew that I simply had to get up the courage and go for it. It was definitely difficult. That being said, I look back now and say to myself, "Wow, it couldn't have gone any better or happened any other way!"
But sometimes situations crop up in our lives that we aren't so sure are actually beneficial. Sometimes we look at the events unfolding in front of our eyes and wonder, "God, what the heck are you doing? This is awful. Why would You ever do this to me? Obviously You're not a good God/You're not listening/You don't see me/You don't understand me/You don't even exist." Maybe your grandmother, the most wonderful woman you have known, is dying for no apparent reason. Maybe you find yourself hating your job, or maybe you lost your job. Maybe you're stuck in the most boring class you could ever find yourself in and now you're wondering how the heck you're supposed to pass the class with at least a C average because it's a major requirement (...yes, I am guilty). For me in particular, and it's something that frustrates me to admit, it's actually been managing my relationships with people, something I'm normally okay at. Yeah, part of it has been due to a lack of sleep and therefore lapse in judgement when it comes to making good decisions and being patient and graceful and such, but another part of it has been due to my own internal conflicts which have caused me to be very vulnerable and needy in one sense at certain times and very reserved and guarded at other times.
There hasn't been a day in the past week, at least, that I haven't asked God, "Why? Why am I stuck in the position I'm in, having said the things I said, having done the things I did? And what do I do now?" But when you step back and look at your situation, no matter what it is, and remember that His plans are far greater than any that a mere human could come up with, it's much easier to just keep putting Him first in everything, knowing that He has a way out as well as a way through (1 Cor. 10:13). Realizing this and thinking about it daily has caused me to have to make tough decisions and have tough conversations, but I know that there's something far greater in store for me, as His princess, daughter, and servant.
But sometimes situations crop up in our lives that we aren't so sure are actually beneficial. Sometimes we look at the events unfolding in front of our eyes and wonder, "God, what the heck are you doing? This is awful. Why would You ever do this to me? Obviously You're not a good God/You're not listening/You don't see me/You don't understand me/You don't even exist." Maybe your grandmother, the most wonderful woman you have known, is dying for no apparent reason. Maybe you find yourself hating your job, or maybe you lost your job. Maybe you're stuck in the most boring class you could ever find yourself in and now you're wondering how the heck you're supposed to pass the class with at least a C average because it's a major requirement (...yes, I am guilty). For me in particular, and it's something that frustrates me to admit, it's actually been managing my relationships with people, something I'm normally okay at. Yeah, part of it has been due to a lack of sleep and therefore lapse in judgement when it comes to making good decisions and being patient and graceful and such, but another part of it has been due to my own internal conflicts which have caused me to be very vulnerable and needy in one sense at certain times and very reserved and guarded at other times.
There hasn't been a day in the past week, at least, that I haven't asked God, "Why? Why am I stuck in the position I'm in, having said the things I said, having done the things I did? And what do I do now?" But when you step back and look at your situation, no matter what it is, and remember that His plans are far greater than any that a mere human could come up with, it's much easier to just keep putting Him first in everything, knowing that He has a way out as well as a way through (1 Cor. 10:13). Realizing this and thinking about it daily has caused me to have to make tough decisions and have tough conversations, but I know that there's something far greater in store for me, as His princess, daughter, and servant.
This may be a slight side note, but dear reader, if anyone chooses to read this anymore at all, please remember that people are broken. There is not a single person on this earth who isn't corrupt in some way or another. None of us are perfect. Everyone is struggling with something, it's just a matter of what. And you, yes you, are one of these unperfect, broken people. You are struggling with something. But you also have the opportunity to support someone as they move through life. God's plans are something we won't know for sure, and in fact divining His will is impossible, and He makes it so to give us free will. But we can know for sure that His plans do involve us, and involve us being involved in the lives of others.
I dare you to be there for someone.
I dare you to be there for someone.
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