Little by little I am learning here in Spain (I'm studying abroad; click here for blog updates on that!) that sometimes it is much better to simply keep my mouth shut. Of course I need to practice the language. Of course not speaking is not how friendships are made. But I asked God to humble me before coming here, and He is doing just that, and as much as I am not liking it in the moment, He is faithful and I am grateful that He is. I am indeed learning a lot. And I am realizing more and more each day that it is crucial that I die daily to pride.
Pride is an awful sin (sin = anything that "misses the mark" of God's perfection, if we deem God's perfection to be the perfect center and bullseye of our target), and probably the sneakiest as my friend Carli pointed out last night. Instead of glorifying God, we glorify ourselves. When we do things, we do them to build ourselves up instead of build up God's kingdom. And the thing is, everyone is prideful to some degree. Yes, even you.
Pride isn't always just "I'm better than you", thought it certainly is. Pride is also "I'm glad I'm not you." Pride is also "At least I'm not like him" and is also "At least I don't do that." Pride is also "I don't need your help." Pride is also "I know I'm right and I'm not backing down from arguing with you." Pride is also "I refuse to x because I don't want people to think I am y." Pride is also "Why is this happening to me of all people?"
It's not hanging around people who are "beneath you." It's not listening to the advice of others because it's contrary to what you might be stubborn about. It's not admitting to being wrong. It's talking about your own experiences as a means to "one-up" someone else. It's correcting others about every mistaken detail, no matter how minute. It is measuring yourself against others. Proverbs 18:2 = "Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." How many times have I been a victim to becoming a fool now?
It's in all of this that I find myself mixed up and falling short of the humility I desire to have in my relationships with other people. It's in my daily life here in Spain that I find my eyes being opened more and more every passing moment to my depravity and my own struggles with pride, something that I only started becoming aware of last summer and that I have only recently begun to realize is more than just a surface issue. Pride is never just a surface issue with a quick fix: It is rooted in the heart. It's like a disease, one we came into from the Fall, and eliminating symptoms doesn't treat the disease itself.
Because of the Fall, mankind is naturally selfish. But thanks to the Passion, mankind is supernaturally redeemed. Jesus is the cure for the disease.
1 Corinthians 8:1b = "Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up."
For me, the struggle has never been recognizing that everyone, and I mean everyone, has sinned, and sins daily, including myself. It has never been, for me, realizing that we humans are all on an even playing field and that no one is better than anyone else. Rather, it's knowing that the things I say and do stem from a "need" to be acknowledged and validated by others. It's knowing that having a say in every little thing and proving people wrong puts me on the throne where Jesus belongs. It's knowing that honestly, if I am a true servant of the Most High God, I should see my reputation and abilities and opinions and priority, when it comes down to it, as below that of everyone else's. You first, not me.
That is love.
And for me, a lot of this starts with being slow to speak and quick to listen, like my friend Aurora who has been an incredible example to me in the past week. As Proverbs 17:28 says, "Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues." It doesn't mean that I stay silent all the time, but rather that I carefully consider what I am about to say and ask myself the purpose is of the words that are about to leave my mouth. Most of all, it means I spend more time in prayer and that I allow God to continue working in my heart, and that I not move in the opposite direction or act as dead weight but rather move towards the direction He would have me move in.
What is it for you, dear Reader? Where do you struggle with pride? Where is it affecting your relationships? What steps can you take in these areas?
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Obedience and patience
You might be thinking from the title of this post, "Obedience and patience? Seriously? Those are the two things I like to hear about the least!" I know I sometimes feel like that, and it's because obedience and patience are the two things that I need the most right now! I need to obey God and I need to wait. And waiting is hard. I read through Jeremiah 42 this morning and was hit hard by the story though. There are three important verses in particular that I want to focus on and that I would like to examine here and unpack with you, dear Reader.
Background: Jeremiah is a prophet of God who didn't really ask to be one and has been through a ton of hard stuff because even though he didn't ask to be a prophet and felt he wasn't ready to be one, God equipped him and Jeremiah chose to obey. God sends Jeremiah with probably the worst news possible almost all of the time to the people of Judah, and nobody wants to hear it. Why? Because what God tells Jeremiah to say is a warning to the people: He wants Jeremiah to warn the people that if they don't repent from their current practices (that is, turn away from what they are doing currently that dishonors God and follow God instead), destruction is sure to come upon the land, and an entire population of people will be wiped out. Hardly anyone likes Jeremiah for this, especially because false prophets keep saying things like, "Don't listen to Jeremiah; God will not sent Babylonians to destroy us!"
Why does God do this whole destruction-punishment thing, and why does He even say he feels grieved about it? Because God is a Father, and He is just: Like a parent, He loves His children very much, but in order for the child to grow up and be successful the parent must punish the child for bad behavior so that the child can develop well.
So we arrive at chapter 42, and there is only a remnant of Judah left after the Babylonians come through and then the Ammonites. The army officers of the remnant of Judah come to Jeremiah and beg him in verse 2, "Please hear our petition and pray to the LORD your God for this entire remnant. For as you now see, though we were once many, now only a few are left. Pray that the LORD your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do." Jeremiah agrees, and he's probably happy because it appears in this moment that people are actually going to listen to him and to God for once and actually do what's best for them. He says he'll tell them everything he hears from God and won't hold anything back. So the remnant replies in verse 6, "Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, we will obey the LORD our god, to whom we are sending you, so that it will go well with us, for we will obey the LORD our God."
I am convinced that this sort of obedience that the remnant professes in verse 6 is the kind of obedience that God looks for in His children. He's not looking for wimpy half-hearted obedience. He's not looking for His children to only obey Him when it suits their own personal desires, to only obey Him when he says "yes" to everything that they want to hear. He is a firm parent. He needs His children to obey him whether he says "yes" or "no". He has His peoples' best interests at heart always, and He loves us always. This means that since He knows what is best for us, for things to go well with us we need to obey Him even when He says "no"; that is to say, we need to obey Him even when it goes against what we really would like to do. Unfortunately for the remnant of Judah in these two chapters, they disobey because God tells them through Jeremiah not to flee to Egypt, which is what they had been planning on doing all along. I haven't read further than chapter 43 at this point, but we know at this point that destruction will come for them later at Egypt if they choose to flee there, even though at first they will be able to live an easier life.
This brings up another juicy point: Sometimes the easier way is not the best way. Sometimes we have to suffer things that we don't want to at all. We're like that child kicking and screaming when told that we can't go to the playground today because it's raining outside. The important thing to remember is that God uses hard times and moments to shape us and prepare us for things that have yet to come, and to prepare us for the good that He has in store for us.
Now let's look at what it says in verse 7: "Ten days later the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah." You might be thinking, "Okay, so what? This is boring." Dear Reader, the point is that God is a God of processes, not of instant gratification. How well does instant gratification work when it comes to raising a child? It doesn't discipline the child well, that's for sure. I'm sure you can think of a couple of kids who are being raised this way or who are older and were raised this way... God does not coddle His children like this. God's timing is perfect, and once again He knows what's best for us. This means that sometimes we have to be patient and wait. Our prayers may not be answered in an instant. It may take a day, or it could take ten as we see with Jeremiah, or it could take even longer. And so ensues a time of waiting.
But what does it mean to wait? It doesn't mean just sitting there! Look at how John Ortberg puts it:
Jeremiah had to wait ten days for God to answer his prayer, but during that time he wasn't passive. He continued to pray, and continues to live life. One final word on waiting that I greatly enjoy: In the Spanish language, the word for "to wait" is "esperar". That same word "esperar" also means "to hope". While we are waiting for whatever it is we are waiting for, we are hoping. We hope for something that hasn't yet come but that we have faith will indeed come to us, that answer to our prayer.
In the end when God told him what to tell the remnant of Judah, they still didn't listen and went to Egypt anyway, but Jeremiah's example of being a faithful servant is one that I pray that you, dear Reader, would take to heart.
Background: Jeremiah is a prophet of God who didn't really ask to be one and has been through a ton of hard stuff because even though he didn't ask to be a prophet and felt he wasn't ready to be one, God equipped him and Jeremiah chose to obey. God sends Jeremiah with probably the worst news possible almost all of the time to the people of Judah, and nobody wants to hear it. Why? Because what God tells Jeremiah to say is a warning to the people: He wants Jeremiah to warn the people that if they don't repent from their current practices (that is, turn away from what they are doing currently that dishonors God and follow God instead), destruction is sure to come upon the land, and an entire population of people will be wiped out. Hardly anyone likes Jeremiah for this, especially because false prophets keep saying things like, "Don't listen to Jeremiah; God will not sent Babylonians to destroy us!"
Why does God do this whole destruction-punishment thing, and why does He even say he feels grieved about it? Because God is a Father, and He is just: Like a parent, He loves His children very much, but in order for the child to grow up and be successful the parent must punish the child for bad behavior so that the child can develop well.
So we arrive at chapter 42, and there is only a remnant of Judah left after the Babylonians come through and then the Ammonites. The army officers of the remnant of Judah come to Jeremiah and beg him in verse 2, "Please hear our petition and pray to the LORD your God for this entire remnant. For as you now see, though we were once many, now only a few are left. Pray that the LORD your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do." Jeremiah agrees, and he's probably happy because it appears in this moment that people are actually going to listen to him and to God for once and actually do what's best for them. He says he'll tell them everything he hears from God and won't hold anything back. So the remnant replies in verse 6, "Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, we will obey the LORD our god, to whom we are sending you, so that it will go well with us, for we will obey the LORD our God."
I am convinced that this sort of obedience that the remnant professes in verse 6 is the kind of obedience that God looks for in His children. He's not looking for wimpy half-hearted obedience. He's not looking for His children to only obey Him when it suits their own personal desires, to only obey Him when he says "yes" to everything that they want to hear. He is a firm parent. He needs His children to obey him whether he says "yes" or "no". He has His peoples' best interests at heart always, and He loves us always. This means that since He knows what is best for us, for things to go well with us we need to obey Him even when He says "no"; that is to say, we need to obey Him even when it goes against what we really would like to do. Unfortunately for the remnant of Judah in these two chapters, they disobey because God tells them through Jeremiah not to flee to Egypt, which is what they had been planning on doing all along. I haven't read further than chapter 43 at this point, but we know at this point that destruction will come for them later at Egypt if they choose to flee there, even though at first they will be able to live an easier life.
This brings up another juicy point: Sometimes the easier way is not the best way. Sometimes we have to suffer things that we don't want to at all. We're like that child kicking and screaming when told that we can't go to the playground today because it's raining outside. The important thing to remember is that God uses hard times and moments to shape us and prepare us for things that have yet to come, and to prepare us for the good that He has in store for us.
Now let's look at what it says in verse 7: "Ten days later the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah." You might be thinking, "Okay, so what? This is boring." Dear Reader, the point is that God is a God of processes, not of instant gratification. How well does instant gratification work when it comes to raising a child? It doesn't discipline the child well, that's for sure. I'm sure you can think of a couple of kids who are being raised this way or who are older and were raised this way... God does not coddle His children like this. God's timing is perfect, and once again He knows what's best for us. This means that sometimes we have to be patient and wait. Our prayers may not be answered in an instant. It may take a day, or it could take ten as we see with Jeremiah, or it could take even longer. And so ensues a time of waiting.
But what does it mean to wait? It doesn't mean just sitting there! Look at how John Ortberg puts it:
[To wait] doesn't mean to be passive or inactive or fatalistic. It means whatever I do while I'm waiting for Sunday [an answered prayer, a certain event, a blessing, etc.], I do with Him. I work with Him, I rest with Him, I ask questions with Him, I wrestle with Him, I complain with Him. I wait on the Lord.Of course this requires a ton of patience, especially when we've been waiting for answers or healing or blessing for a long time. I'll let you know that I've been granted a couple of really amazing dreams that I want to follow through on and I want to see come to life really bad, but I know that they require that I wait. What does this period of waiting involve? Well first, I'll be studying in Spain in the fall; before I am able to go, I need to prepare my heart, pack bags, tie up loose ends, and of course still continue life here in the United States! After that, I have dreams of going to graduate school, but this requires that I wait as well. During that period of waiting, I need to finish my undergraduate studies. And I picture myself living and working in Costa Rica in the future, which of course requires more waiting as I finish all of my studies, do all of the necessary planning, get things set up, actually finding a job, etc. There are more dreams floating around in my head besides these, but I share these just as examples.
Jeremiah had to wait ten days for God to answer his prayer, but during that time he wasn't passive. He continued to pray, and continues to live life. One final word on waiting that I greatly enjoy: In the Spanish language, the word for "to wait" is "esperar". That same word "esperar" also means "to hope". While we are waiting for whatever it is we are waiting for, we are hoping. We hope for something that hasn't yet come but that we have faith will indeed come to us, that answer to our prayer.
In the end when God told him what to tell the remnant of Judah, they still didn't listen and went to Egypt anyway, but Jeremiah's example of being a faithful servant is one that I pray that you, dear Reader, would take to heart.
Blaming God
(This is from way back in March or April. I thank my lovely G.I.G. for the awesome time discussing the following!)
Imagine that someone had all the money, resources, and power in the world. Imagine that you had heard that this person was generous with all of his or her things, and had been known to freely give things to those people who needed them. Imagine you were just twenty or so dollars short on cash and needed the money in order to pay your rent for this month (or pay for textbooks, or pay the mortgage, or pay bills, or whatever).
Imagine yourself, then, going up to that well-endowed person and asking for $20.
What would you do if that person didn't give you the answer you were looking for (which, we're assuming, is a yes?)
You have a few options:
-You could keep asking for the money
-You could sigh resignedly and decided "Oh well, he/she really isn't generous after all"
-You could get angry at the person because he/she gives to tons of other people; why not you?
-You could acknowledge that the person may have a reason for not giving you the money and still believe that person to be generous
-You could try to bargain with the person, or try to say that you'll pay him/her back later
Whether it's healing a financial situation, healing a medical situation, healing a relational situation, healing an educational situation, or any other sort of healing, when we turn to God and ask Him to help us, we usually expect to receive that help. What sucks is that sometimes, we don't receive the help we ask for. Sometimes we weren't really expecting Him to help anyways, in which case we're not too disappointed because it just perhaps confirms the notion that He wasn't really generous after all. Sometimes it makes us angry because we needed His help so bad, and it was only a situation that He could fix, and He didn't do it, and this causes us to turn away from Him in a huff and decide, "Well, if that's how you're going to be, then I don't need you. I'll be fine. I'll do it myself." And there's a whole range of other responses we can have towards that.
Many times, basically, we blame God Himself for not giving us what we want. Don't we have good reason to, though? It's His fault that He won't be generous with us like He is with some other people.
There's a couple of different ways one can explore this:
-If you do not know someone, or if you do not know a person very well, and you go up to that person and ask him or her for money, how likely is it that the person will give it to you? How does that person know that you are trustworthy and will pay him or her back, or that you truly need the money that the person is giving you? God truly seeks a relationship with you, and He truly does desire to give you your heart's needs, but you need to show up.
-Sometimes, God has a different plan in mind. Maybe something has to happen in a specific way such that you grow from it, it shapes you, He can use it in a better way, etc. We cannot even begin to comprehend, in our own selfish selves, what plans an omnipotent being could possibly have for us, until those plans start unfolding in our lives little by little.
Imagine that someone had all the money, resources, and power in the world. Imagine that you had heard that this person was generous with all of his or her things, and had been known to freely give things to those people who needed them. Imagine you were just twenty or so dollars short on cash and needed the money in order to pay your rent for this month (or pay for textbooks, or pay the mortgage, or pay bills, or whatever).
Imagine yourself, then, going up to that well-endowed person and asking for $20.
What would you do if that person didn't give you the answer you were looking for (which, we're assuming, is a yes?)
You have a few options:
-You could keep asking for the money
-You could sigh resignedly and decided "Oh well, he/she really isn't generous after all"
-You could get angry at the person because he/she gives to tons of other people; why not you?
-You could acknowledge that the person may have a reason for not giving you the money and still believe that person to be generous
-You could try to bargain with the person, or try to say that you'll pay him/her back later
Whether it's healing a financial situation, healing a medical situation, healing a relational situation, healing an educational situation, or any other sort of healing, when we turn to God and ask Him to help us, we usually expect to receive that help. What sucks is that sometimes, we don't receive the help we ask for. Sometimes we weren't really expecting Him to help anyways, in which case we're not too disappointed because it just perhaps confirms the notion that He wasn't really generous after all. Sometimes it makes us angry because we needed His help so bad, and it was only a situation that He could fix, and He didn't do it, and this causes us to turn away from Him in a huff and decide, "Well, if that's how you're going to be, then I don't need you. I'll be fine. I'll do it myself." And there's a whole range of other responses we can have towards that.
Many times, basically, we blame God Himself for not giving us what we want. Don't we have good reason to, though? It's His fault that He won't be generous with us like He is with some other people.
There's a couple of different ways one can explore this:
-If you do not know someone, or if you do not know a person very well, and you go up to that person and ask him or her for money, how likely is it that the person will give it to you? How does that person know that you are trustworthy and will pay him or her back, or that you truly need the money that the person is giving you? God truly seeks a relationship with you, and He truly does desire to give you your heart's needs, but you need to show up.
-Sometimes, God has a different plan in mind. Maybe something has to happen in a specific way such that you grow from it, it shapes you, He can use it in a better way, etc. We cannot even begin to comprehend, in our own selfish selves, what plans an omnipotent being could possibly have for us, until those plans start unfolding in our lives little by little.
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